My clarity of thought has been, let’s call it, “challenged” for the last 30-some-odd weeks. Around the time of my last post, my husband and I were making a major life decision: after years of not being sure about the subject, we realized that we are ready to have a child.
Pregnancy has been an awesome experience. More in the older sense of the word “awesome”, as in filling me with awe. It’s beautiful, it’s exhausting, it’s completely overwhelming. And of course, it has left no corner of my life untouched – as I know will continue to be true once our Little Girl arrives.
My hardline stance on food consumption was forced to waver a bit in the face of first trimester cravings. Well, okay, at times the dietary restrictions had to be tossed directly out the window so that I wouldn’t resort to gnawing on the furniture. And my thyroid progress backslid somewhat under the strain of producing for more than one person. But I do credit the good health “cushion” I created before becoming pregnant with a number of positives.
- No morning sickness. I had some nausea early on, but never to the point of vomiting. I understand that the experience of pregnancy is different for everyone, but I believe that the stable diet I maintained up until then contributed greatly.
- Quicker bounce back. Even at those times when I’ve caved to eating some grain here and there, I’ve been able to bounce back quickly from any ill effects that crop up. My body is more resilient than it used to be.
- I’m not afraid. I haven’t been as perfect food-wise during pregnancy as I had been for the previous year. But I actually have faith that my body can and will heal from everything, and that my body is just asking me for what it needs right now. During the long years before the diet switch, I didn’t trust my body at all. It was not a pleasant feeling; it felt like living in hostile territory. But that was simply because I didn’t understand why my health was broken or that there was anything I could do to fix it. Now I know, and since making the progress I have, my body has become very clear with the signals it gives me. I can trust myself – my whole self. What a profound relief that is.
So here’s where I have to acknowledge, part of the reason for the long silence has been that I didn’t want to turn this into a blog about the pregnancy, the child planning, the new-parent anxieties, etc. etc. But it’s really impossible to say much of anything without acknowledging the change, because it touches everything I think about. Next up I’ll probably talk about how I hope to handle teaching Little Girl about food, and maybe also how much I’m looking forward to playing with her (spoiler: it’s a LOT).